How I Became A Pyro (or, what not to do with a class full of 10 year olds)

What had started off as my little snippet for the 30 day song challenge day 7, became somewhat of a short story of it’s own so I thought I’d share it as a stand alone rather than take up a few hundred words in an already overflowing post.

So this is the story of how a young Eoin O’Sullivan became interested in the magical wonders of fire. I was about 10 or 11 years  old and was in my final days of primary school. We had been told that we were going to put on a graduation play, just like all the previous years had before us. Our play was that of prince cinders, a Spin on Cinderella that made the story cool and hip being all modern and what not. Oh and Cinderella was a dude instead of a chick so all the roles were reversed. Anyway, one of the songs required us all to have lighters. Don’t ask why, I honestly can’t remember why we needed lighters instead of something a bit safer like, oh i donno, torches or coloured bits of paper. But what ever the reason, we all had to have lighters for the play. thankfully the play went grand without anyone burning themselves or setting fire to the set. However, there were a few fire related issues that arose throughout the night before the show.

First came my little mishap at home right after I had been given the lighter. I thought it would be fun to see how well toilet paper burned… I WAS 10 OK!! So yeah, that happened and naturally it caused so much smoke that the fire alarm went off and everyone thought there was a fire in the house and i was rushing about trying to hide the evidence by washing it down the bathroom sink and we were running late so after a quick check about the house to make sure the place wasn’t actually on fire my parents hurried us all into the car and we went off to the show.

Next comes the pyromaic activities of the pre-show prep. So there’s a bunch of 20 or so pre-teens in a class room. All of them have lighters. The teacher decides that she needs to go out for a smoking break and to find the photographer. she tells the class to behave and not to do anything stupid. nothing could possibly go wrong right?

Well long story short we found the air freshener aerosol spray and between three of us, we managed to waste about 3/4s of the can making flamethrowers till the teacher came back. Luckily nothing got in the way of our flames but looking back, it probably wasn’t the safest thing to be doing in a class full of paintings and drawings on the wall…

So anyway, She came back into the class with the photographer, we quickly rushed to hide the spray, and everyone gathered together for the group photo. lucky for me, I was standing in the back row because on of the lads about 3 people down the row from me decided it’d be a great laugh to light the back of another students hair on fire. I don’t think we ever got those photos in the end but I’m certain that in the photo you’d be able to see everyone smiling at the camera except for one sadistic fecker who was grinning at the small trail of smoke rising up from the back of the head of the guy in front of him.

So yeah. that’s my earliest memory of playing with fire… don’t worry I haven’t started going around burning down buildings .. yet. I’m a sane.. enough pyromaniac so I shouldn’t have that problem anytime soon unless I get really pissed off…

Oh and don’t give kids lighters. they’ll just end u like me and the world has enough to deal with already just by having me around.


Posted on 16/03/2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You were 12 (6th class).

  2. 11, 12. same diff.

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