I wanna be a Millionaire, cause i’m not as greedy as Travie McCoy*

*he’s the guy who sings that song about wanting to be a billionaire in case you didn’t get the reference

Right so Euromillions time! And the winning numbers are, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Aww Crap. I knew I shoulda bought a ticket.

But yeah, over the week, while I was not blogging ( I know I know, only a week and a bit in and i’m all ready caving, MAN UP EOIN) the topic of what would you do if you won the lotto came up but I never really gave it much thought until today when i realised that, A: the Euromillions was on with a jackpot of a grand total of €28,947,728 (ZOMG WAAANNNTT!!), and B: I was in need of something to blog about. Cause let’s face it, no one is gonna read a blog that doesn’t have at least some content, right?

Anywho, so what would I do if I won the €28,947,728 from tonight’s euromillions? Tough question. I think the first thing I’d do would be to pay back my parents for all the money that they’ve spent on me my whole life. I mean, come on, I wouldn’t be alive if they hadn’t splashed a bit of cash about to feed me and cloth me so i’d prob throw a million their way for that (-€1,000,000 = €27,947,728). On top of that I’d give each of my family members another million each to keep them going (-€6,000,000 =€21,947,728). Then I’d take about 10 mill and share it amongst my close mates evenly (so a few 100 grand each there abouts) cause, lets face it, I won’t need 20 million squid all to myself, I wouldn’t know what to do with it (-€10,000,000 =  €11,947,728).

Now comes the part where I need to put some thought into what I buy so I’ma get me a bottle of pepsi and some doughnuts as thinking food (-€4.55 = €11,947,723.45) wait what? No no no, I bought them with my actual money now put the €4.55 back in the pile… do it… (+€4.55 = €11,947,728), there we go. Thank you. Now where was I? Ah yes, what I would buy with the money.

Well, for starters I’d buy myself my own place to live in. Not that I don’t mind living at home but, to be honest, I spend 90% of my time in college or commuting so they’d probably see me just as often anyway… unless I moved abroad… hmmm might do that… but if I were to stay in Dublin, I’d most likely go for something low-key, easy to look after and yet sizable enough for everything I’d end up getting to fit in it. Something like, say, this (only 700 grand and it’s fully furnished, sqwee…I mean.. Awww Yeaahh!). But yeah, something like that would be ideal if I had a few million to throw about. (-€700,000{- another €500,000 to cover future bills and living costs etc} = €10,747,728). { I know 500 grand might be a bit much but, in fairness, I could afford it}

Next up I’d hafta get myself a proper car. Now for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a reasonably tall bloke so unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to get myself/fit into a Lotus (sigh), no matter how much I’d love to. So instead I’d settle for the next best thing, an Audi R8 5.2 ltr v10 car (although maybe not the one in the link in particular cause I’m not a fan of that interior and I’d prefer it in a black finish). I know I know, it’s a wee bit more expensive than your For fiestas and Nissan micras but, if you’re a millionaire, you’ve gotta look the part and driving an R8, well i’ll leave it to the Top Gear team to say why it’s worth it :  

(-€100,000 = €10,647,728)

Now that I have a car and a place to sleep, and have given a fuck load of my money away to all those close to me etc, it’s time to get myself some gadgets and gizmos to make life more fun and easy-going.

First stop, a really bad ass desktop computer. I’m talking top of the range, best money can buy sorta thing with a ridiculous amount of RAM and HD space as well as awesome processors/video cards/graphics cards etc, blueray players, usb 3.0 ports, and a huge see through panel where you can see all the innards lit up in heat changing LED lights. the whole 9 yards and more. And on this computer I would of course need the full Adobe Master Collection CS5 (or latest version if this is read post 2011), Cinema 4D Studio R12 (or latest yadiyada), Dragon Stop Motion software… and probably a few other pricey software packages for the hell of it . (-€25,000 = €10,622,728).

Wow, still got a lot to spend haven’t we. Okay lets see, well… ah sure why not, I’ll throw in a sound proof recording studio as well with a top specs Mac Pro, ProTools 9, a full PA system and mixing desk, a few nice good quality mics and a Keyboard and a couple of synthesizers etc (guitars not included in this bundle cause they’re special and get their own section next). I’m no expert no but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that whole setup would cost me in and around 100 to 200 grand if I was to get it done properly with good quality wiring and craftsmanship. (-€200,000 = €10,422,728)

Right, now time for a few guitars (I really need to get back into the habit of playing more often). So, my number one guitar that I have always wanted, but never had the money to buy, nor the desire to cheap out and get a €300 knock of version of, is of course, the legendary Gibson les paul. It is a full-bodied, musical beauty and if I won the lotto, I would go out and purchase these three models here, here and here. As well as these, I’d want something a bit gimmicky so I’d get myself a Manson MB-1 which for those who don’t know, is the guitar that Muse frontman, Matt Bellamy uses. Then to finish off my guitar collection I’d get a lovely Martain & Co. GPC-42E semi-Acoustic guitar… heck while we’re at it I might as well get the insanely expensive D-100 Deluxe edition too. (-€103,777 = €10,318,951)Oh and I guess with all them guitars I’d need a few bits and bobs to play them with so to tidy things up, lets just say that I’d spend another €18,951 on amps and pedals and what not, I donno, maybe a fancy display case for them or something (-€18,951 = €10,300,000).

Phew, still got a shit ton of money to go through don’t I. Hmmm maybe it’s time for a 112 day World Cruise in first class for myself and 10 mates, and fuck it my family can come along as well, but I want my own space! no crowding me ok? Except for you. You can crowd me. But only you. (-€300,000 = €10,000,000). Man that was fun. definitely doing that again sometime in the future (-€300,000 =€9,700,000).


Now what to buy. Ah yes. GAAAMEESS. So, lets begin with the basics, an x-box 360 with connect, no 2 no 4 x-box 360s all with connect. and 4 50 inch LCD 3D enabled tvs to play them on. that way we can have the most bad ass COD and Halo games ever! Ok next I’ll get a ps3 and a wii just to keep the kids and playstation fan boys happy. And to top it all i’ll buy a shit tome of awesome game to play on them (-€25,000 = €9,675,000).

Then comes the retro games corner. I’m talking NES, SNES, N64, GameCube, ColecoVision, Sega Master System, Megadrive, Saturn, Dreamcast, Neo Geo, Atari 2600, Panasonic 3DO, Playstation, PS2, X-box,  heck I’ll even get a Commodore 64. SO that’s 1, 2, 3… 16 consoles, so lets say, 4 more tvs, but old school CRT tvs like we had back when we were young. And since all these consoles are (mostly) discontinued, I’d have no problem buying every single game/accessory for those consoles ever released (to an extent. I mean, I’m not gonna get hello kitty games for instance but I’d definitely get all the classics and what not and a shit load of other games that I’ll probably never play but can  afford to waste cash on. (-€20,000** = €9,655,000).

** this is merely an estimate, could be a lot more or less than this, depending on how many games I’d actually end up buying.

Bloody hell this is impossible. I seriously thought when I started this post that I’d find ways to blow the millions easily, but this is proving much harder than I expected. At this stage I’d give about 6 or 7 mill to various charities just so I didn’t have it lying about gathering dust (-€7,000,000 = €2,655,000). I reckon I’d survive quite nicely for a while on just over 2 and a half million. But, I suppose it doesn’t matter now eh, apparently there was 5 winning tickets so I’ve to wait another few weeks before it’s back to that amount of money anyway.

So, now that I’ve spilled the beans and let the whole world know of my future financial exploits when I win the lotto, tell me, what would you do with the money? Would you buy that hill side mansion overlooking the Mediterranean that you always fancied, or would you give it all to charity so that you didn’t have to decide what to spend it on?




Posted on 05/02/2011, in random and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. You might want to proof read your blogs in future. There are some typos. Nice to know we family members get some cash. If your wondering what to do with your last bit of cash you could send it my way.

    What to do with €28,947,728. Naturally I’d go buy some land down in Wicklow with a fantastic view, a steep hillside & design & build one of the most amazing houses ever with a glass panelled front, complete with solar panels, stuck into the hill side with the panelling mirroring the original hillside. This house would be complete with fantastically designed surrounding gardens, plenty of guest bedrooms, a large studio outfitted for recording & performing recitals of small ensembles with a modestly sized pipe organ (would a 3 manual be too much to ask for). That’d take care of the 1st million or two, possibly 3.

    I suppose since Eoin was so generous with his money I should do likewise. I’d set my parents up for life wherever they want (probably lose 2 million there), provide a house & car for each sibling + a little spending money on the side (-4).

    When it comes to mates, I’d probably just buy them a shit load of things they want &, being me, musical instruments get preference. Might just find myself a Stradivarius (-5) & some lessons on the side (-0.003).

    One thing I’d have to do is buy out the Conservatory & Academy of Music. Buy the Concert Hall site. Knock down the concert hall & build a state of the art complex for the teaching of the performing arts complete with recital hall, concert hall & opera house. Think that’d take care of any left over cash & probably incur some major debts as well.

    Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

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